Cigarettes.

Is there something wrong with wanting to be wanted? Wanting to be with someone
and have them tell you everything you want to hear? Wanting to get rid of all the bad
things revolving around you? I don't think so. So, why do I get so much shit for it?
Sex, drugs and alcohol are all normalcies to teenagers, so why is it only some of us get
shit for it, while the others go untaunted, unrejected, unwanted?
I don't mean unrejected or unwanted in a sexual sense, but in a relationship sense. I don't
actually like relationships, don't get me wrong, but I'm tired of guys only wanting my body.
I'm not even comfortable with my body, and yet it's what boys want. Is there something
wrong with this picture? I think so. Agree, or don't. It's whatev.
I had a long night again. I moved onto number 4 of the list. I switched numbers though.
My orignial number 4 wasn't around, so I just picked another. He was good. The pain was
great, and I look forward to being sore as hell in the morning. I just wish things weren't
so complicated. This latest guy, no matter what he says, wants to be more than just fuck
buddies, and that bothers the hell out of me.
If only he knew how fucked up I really am. I don't think he knows, but I'm taking advantage
of this situation. I know he wants me. I also know he wants to ask me out, but I just
want him for sex, if for anything at all. He needs to figure that out before I end up hurting
the poor kid.

I sound like such a bitch. Luckily for me, I am, so I can use it as an excuse.



I hope everyone else is doing better than me, at least. <3