Thursday, December 17, 2009

Get Over It.

I'm so over people thinking they have any right to say anything about the choices I make. I know I make mistakes, but HELLO ! They're my mistakes, and I can't grow unless I make them. What makes people think for a second that they have a right to judge me, when they don't know me, when they haven't TRIED to get to know me? I mean, seriously people. Don't be so idiotic all the time. Grow up. Do something actually productive. All you do when you try 'help' or try to 'understand' me is piss me off. No one has to understand my choices, which is really why they are exactly that, MY CHOICES. I guess I can understand the idea of helping someone, but I don't think I need help. I am the way I am, and just because someone thinks something's wrong with me doesn't mean there actually IS something wrong with me. I mean, what's so wrong with wanting to be prettier? Skinnier? Happier? I see absolutely nothing wrong with trying to make yourself better. I guess people like me go to some extremes, but there's nothing else that works, and I'm willing, more than anything to give up most everything in order to make myself better in the eyes of other people and in my own opinion. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I'm having an extremely good day. I popped three Triple C's this morning before school - I feel absolutely fan-freaking-tastic. I don't think I'd know what I would do without being able to take something in order to keep my mood up and happy. Things get so stressful sometimes, and what else can I do but help things along - especially since it's the only way I know how. I don't take them a lot, just on the occasion when I wake up in a bad mood, or if I have a feeling things won't go the way I want them to throughout the day - or even worse, on days I won't have cigarettes.
I'm basically psyched to get out of school. After today, our last full day, we only have the half day tomorrow and then we're off for vacation. I don't know what I would do if there was any more time between me and just doing my thing. I have so much I want to do over break - and I just hope I find all the time I need to do it. (:
So, the Fast isn't starting today - I was forced to eat a couple bites of chocolate cake today during French class - I was a judge for this cake contest. I think I might be sick though. I feel like I'll never eat again - which wouldn’t be a bad thing at all, you know? I just hope my stomach can still get rid of it when I feel the need soon. I'm in the middle of my teacher's Aide block, so I'm not doing anything but helping people out in the library today. It's pretty lame, I know. I do enjoy it most of the time though. I have a lot of free time, so if I forget to do homework, or really want to read a book - I'm right here, so there's no worries. I'm starting tomorrow, for sure though. I always like starting on even days anyways, so maybe this was a sign.
I'm deciding on what I want to get my friends for Christmas. I have no idea at the moment, so if anyone has any ideas for my GAY best friend (boy) and my girl best friend (red head), I'd appreciate it very much. And, they're both super preppy too. And they hate each other. Ha, otherwise they're just like everyone else. They used to be best friends too, until girl messed up and pissed off boy, so you know how that shit goes. Oh well, I still like them both, and I won't let their feelings for each other get in the way of me having the friends I want to have, digg? (:
I keep seeing girls come into the library who are absolutely disgusting to look at. They remind me why I hate to eat - they're quite large, but they don't seem to care that they are. People like that disgust me, it's just wrong to be okay with being huge. I wish that kind of thing didn't bother me, but on behalf of all Ana girls out there - I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that if they want to be fat, they should all just kill themselves already. At least have someone else kill them and put them out of their and MY misery, you know? Or do something to get skinny - anything's better than being that big. I guess they haven't got the memo…

That's all for now. I'll be back to catch everyone up on how this exciting day will end. Ha, later girls. Stay Strong and Think Thin! (:


  1. I hate that too.
    Like when I see big girls grinding on guys at partys.
    It pisses me off. Guys can say they like "Thick girls" all they want, but personally I think it Bullshit. I've never met a guy that wants some fat rolls to play with. Haha damn I sound so mean.
    O well, it's true.
    Good luck Hun:]

  2. Hey...I just started a blog and I would be so thrilled if you took a look at it. I love your writing. Stay strong girl <3

  3. i read one of your older blogs and you said you would txt id love to have a txting buddy :) email me and ill give you my number is my email im 17 female from america

    stay strong