'Careless Whisper'

Today's the first day back from break. Ugh, so not looking forward to exams this week, but it's just going to help me with Ana, so I'm all for it. (: So, it's been a week since my last food travesty. I tried eating, but because I've been drinking and smoking so much, but body won't let me eat, and I can barely keep down drink without feeling like I'll be sick. Oh well, it's helped so more. Down 4 more, so it's definitely worth it in my eyes. I just wish I didn't feel so nasty all the time. Hopefully I'll be in more control and just choose not to eat by the end of this week. Either that, or my mom's going to make me go see a doctor. I keep telling her I don't feel good - but she's all like, "maybe you should try eating again" but I don't feel like getting sick, again. I mean damn. I spent the late morning of New Year's hugging Johnny, so yeah. I think I'm good for another year with the whole throw up thing. Ha. Anyways, with exams stressing me, I haven't even considered starting to worry about next semester, but I guess I should. I have all four core classes. It basically sucks, but I chose to double up on science this year, so it's my own damn fault.
I'm so lucky to have a new texting buddy. I still text with some old ones, but this new one is fabu. Same age, same issues. It's definitely going to work out. And btw, my title does indeed represent that song 'Careless Whisper' by George Michaels. It's pathetic, but it's catchy and makes me feel better. I don't know why, it's not even a happy song. Ha. Anyways…

-----------------------------------------------------> <----------------------------------------

I need to get centered again. I guess this break was a good thing, and it came up at the perfect time. I wasn't home like, any of the time, so I didn't have my mom around to pressure me into eating every hour. Ha, I mean she's never tried to feed me that much, but you get the point. I'm just ready to have school over with, for real. On the real, I'm ready for summer. I plan to be at least 20 pounds lighter, and be able to keep it off, maybe even more. I mean, I can lose it super fast, but the problem is getting my body to keep it gone. Which, I'm sure other people have issues with too. Oh, and everyone, fantastic revelation! Rap music makes you not want to eat. As long as you find music that's dance-worthy, you'll stay thirsty maybe, but sure as hell you won't be hungry if you feel like dancing. Try it out, and I promise you, it'll work. (:


Well, I'm chill for now on this…so I'll post later. Good luck kids. <3