Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Weight Listed.

I'm at 141, since this whole thing started, I lost over 5 pounds. I'd be happy if I knew it was something I was doing on my own, without all the stress. I know it's just because of being emotionally drained and far from being attached to food, despite the depression. Still no word about my friend. He's in the hospital, but his parents haven't called me or my friends to let us know what's up. I don't know how much more silence from them I can take. They must not know how much we're struggling with this.
I talked to the guy I lost my virginity to for the first time in months today. I thought I could handle it, but he's just hurt me so bad, I ended up crying and just feeling worse about basically everything. I was lonely, and when this guy I used to hook up with texted me, I said I'd hang with him., I shouldn't have. I did, but I know it was wrong. Especially considering I'm talking to this really sweet new guy…

I'm just messed up all around. I don't know what help there is for me.

1 comment:

  1. Hey we all make mistakes, besides, just because you talked to this guy once doesn't mean you have to do it again. You're really stressed out, I mean your friend's fam is stonewalling people. They're probably embarassed and thinking people will blame them. Just relax a little and keep checking for info. send a caring email or mail a letter, even if you're not getting all the info you want your friend will still know you care, and after something like a suicide attempt, people NEED to know somebody cares.
    Good luck babe.
    Scarlet <3