Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I'm at 141, since this whole thing started, I lost over 5 pounds. I'd be happy if I knew it was something I was doing on my own, without all the stress. I know it's just because of being emotionally drained and far from being attached to food, despite the depression. Still no word about my friend. He's in the hospital, but his parents haven't called me or my friends to let us know what's up. I don't know how much more silence from them I can take. They must not know how much we're struggling with this.
I talked to the guy I lost my virginity to for the first time in months today. I thought I could handle it, but he's just hurt me so bad, I ended up crying and just feeling worse about basically everything. I was lonely, and when this guy I used to hook up with texted me, I said I'd hang with him., I shouldn't have. I did, but I know it was wrong. Especially considering I'm talking to this really sweet new guy…
I'm just messed up all around. I don't know what help there is for me.